I have two dads.
This one (biological dad):
And this one (my stad - pictured here with my beautiful niece):
The Father's Day cards seem to make a lot of assumptions about fatherhood, none of which seem to apply in my case. Please allow me to advise you of the following:
- Neither one likes golf. Neither one owns golf clubs or has even thought about golfing.
- Barbecues are not as meaningful to them as the card selection would seem to reflect.
- One of them does actually like to fish, but not so much that any of the fishing jokes are actually funny.
- Both of my dads will do yard work if absolutely required, but it is not a voluntary, joyful sort of thing.
- Both will watch sports, but not obsessively (as the greeting cards would seem to imply).
- "Are we there yet?" jokes, or road trip jokes of any kind.
- Diaper jokes.
- "Mom's really the boss" jokes.
- Remote control jokes.
Don't even get me started on the cards that have sound. That's a whole separate complaint.
Disgruntled Daughter Who Thinks You Can Do Better