When I was a kid, I remember hearing the ticking clock of "60 Minutes" emanating from our console television every Sunday evening and always thought, "Ugh!" I could not understand how anyone could watch something so boring. Watching the news seemed like the very worst thing that could happen to a person. Of course, now that I have a few more decades behind me, my tolerance for news programming has increased considerably. I record "Sunday Morning" on the DVR every week and watch it after church. On weekdays, I scan the headlines on MSN and CNN while I munch my lunch. I have a long-standing crush on Robin Meade and usually listen to her newscast in the morning (even though I'm still mad about Headline News being shortened to HLN - I really did have time for those extra letters, CNN!).
There weren't any big news stories this week, so I had plenty of time to be pissed off about small ones.
1. Michigan's ass backwards adoption laws. Adoption laws vary greatly from state to state and some states are certainly worse than others. I would not want to be an adoptive parent in Michigan, that's for sure. It just seems sort of tragic that both halves of a same-sex couple don't have the same rights when it pertains to their children. Michigan will only allow one parent to be the official adopter, not both. If, God forbid, that parent dies, the other person has zero rights. No ability to make decisions about the child they've raised. Antiquated adoption laws don't benefit anyone. Plus, I can't think of any valid reason why any state would make it difficult for same-sex couples to adopt. I think it's been sufficiently proven that being raised by gay parents does not have any sort of adverse effect on children. Surely you've seen the video of this guy?
2. The overturn of a "downed livestock" law in California. Apparently, there was a law on the books requiring immediate euthanasia of sick/injured animals that cannot walk upon arrival at slaughter. I tell you, I have mostly lost hope that I'll ever live in a world where anyone gives a shit about animals and how they are treated. I mean, how many undercover videos showing livestock torture do we need? The part of the article that irked me the most was this statement: “The vast majority of nonambulatory pigs are merely overheated, stressed, fatigued, or stubborn and, if allowed to rest, will stand and walk unassisted,” it said.
Well, damn those surly pigs anyway. If they would just march serenely to their death like they are supposed to, we wouldn't have this problem. Stubborn pigs! Why, that jovial pig in Charlotte's Web had a always little skip in his step when he jogged around the farm. The other pigs should make note of that.
3. Heidi Klum and Seal have broken up? Say it ain't so! I'm not a celebrity-watcher, per se (my knowledge about Heidi Klum is mostly restricted to her work on Project Runway, which I love) but I thought they seemed like a good couple. Damn.
I'm sure there were some other news stories that got me worked up but I failed to commit them to memory. I've been busy getting ready for the annual meeting for the rescue, coming up this weekend. The meeting is being held a couple hours away from my house, so I'm going to stay in a hotel room alllllll by myself. The week has been mostly uneventful, save for my daughter's playground incident yesterday. At recess, she was running on some ice and apparently the black top flew up and attacked her face. I guess the poor kid landed face down on a patch of ice. Of course, she told me it was my fault because her snow boots are slightly too big. Because, you know, everything is my fault one way or the other. Anyway, it looks like she's going to pull through. I attended a parent-teacher conference last night and received glowing reviews of my daughter's performance. She's at an advanced reading level, is an excellent speller, and rocks at math, too. I'll take partial credit for her reading skills (since we read together quite a bit) and give the rest of the credit to her birthmom. The kid and I played Bananagrams on Sunday night. I was proud of her for using her tiles to create the word "MEATLOAF" (particularly since the longest word I'd come up with at that point was "SPIT") but was feeling somewhat less proud that she also laid down the word "ASS." When I asked her about it, she said, "I'm going to turn it into GLASSES as soon as I get a G and an L." Sure you are, kid. Sure you are.