Danielle and Clay....family pictures

While everyone was here, we tried to squeeze in some family pictures. We barely got in 3 families. Here is my adorable sister, Danielle and her husband Clay. I couldn't find a sitter, so we resorted to the empty lot behind our house and had my 3 kids in tow.....Elle wasn't too happy about the whole arrangement, but she survived.

Danielle was diagnosed yesterday with Lyme Disease.

The feelings are indescribable when something like this happens to one of your sisters. I cannot even comprehend what it would feel like if it were your child or spouse. You'd think after Amy had cancer, went through chemo and beat it, this would seem like no big deal. But it still hurts just the same. It's where you wish it could happen to you instead and take away their pain. I wonder if it would feel like this if it were an older sibling or if it's because Amy and Danielle are my younger sisters and you sort of grow up having that protective feeling over them.

So much has gone on in my family in the last year that I want to write about. To document. But it's hard to write about. Really hard.

Maybe someday I'll write more about Rebecca, the sister I've talked to almost every day for 7 years, and how her husband of 13 years, betrayed her and then left her and her beautiful three girls. Maybe I'll blog about how pornography destroyed their eternal marriage and how aware I am of the evil influences of it.

Maybe someday I'll blog more about Amy and her cancer. How I tried to just block it out because it was so hard to think about all the pain and suffering she endured. How I tried to forget the video I saw of her shaving her head because her hair was falling out in chunks.

Maybe someday I'll open up more about my uncle Eddie, who spent every holiday with us growing up, who boosted my self-esteem on many occasions, who was in the temple with us, the day Shad and I got married. And how he recently told his family he is gay and left his wife and children.

And maybe someday I'll blog more about Danielle and her Lyme disease. How she and her husband have it. Danielle is 23. Clay is 25.

But I think that's all you'll get for now. I feel like I should end this by writing, "I have faith and know everything will turn out fine. Trials make us stronger and bring us closer together as families and to the Lord......" I know those things. I believe those things and I AM so grateful for my own family's health and my faith. But today, I'm just sad. I'm sad for Danielle and Clay. I'm sad for my parents.

*my sisters....Amy, Megan, Rebecca, Danielle and me