Growing up too fast.

Just like that, it happens. Kerri is growing up right before my eyes. And I am so not ready for this. I want to hold on to my baby girl.

Kerri has been asking to go on the school bus for years. Due to her asthma, we never let her. With the bitter winter cold, and 20 minutes without access to her inhaler, it was just not a risk we were willing to take. But Kerri feels ready, even if we are not.

So I called. And found out she was approved for the bus last week. She will be so excited when I pick her up today and tell her. And I am a nervous wreck.

I wasn't this nervous her first day ever at school. Or the first time we left her with her Nana. But for some reason, the bus - to me - symbolizes her independence. Her right of passage. Her ability to go forth without us. And I am not ready!

I am already worrying about her. Wondering if she will know what bus to get on. I will talk to our neighbors today to see if they can keep an eye out for her (after all, they take the same bus). And I think tomorrow will be tougher on me than on Kerri.

If putting Kerri on a bus is this hard, what can I expect down the road? Oy.

Life with Kerri is changing.