Raising monkeys.....

Well, not quite but when the monkeys girls scream "pee-pee mommy" it's a mad dash for the loo. Yeah...potty training. Twins. I know, you're thinking "oh, what fun". Lol. As most know our parenting style is a bit unconventional...Yes, we parent and yes, we discipline and no, I don't reward for bad behavior. Shame, shame. However our parenting works for us. Although I promised myself before bringing them home, "I AM going to have them off the bottles by 12 months, *snort* AND I AM going to have them potty trained at 18 months. *bigger snort* But, once home with our daughter's we realized we had other issues to tackle. Attachment issues. (contrary to popular belief institutionalized children do not bond instantly) We were in no hurry. They needed to know they could trust us. Forever. So, no we didn't confiscate their bottles from them at 12 months. This was our time to bond with them. They did however wean themselves off of their bottles by the time they were 18 months old. They gave it up. Ours was an easy transition. They decided. Besides I was in no hurry for them to "grow-up". Not yet. I loved nothing better than rocking them at night as they stroked my cheek. We still do this. So, it was no surprise when they initiated potty training. As I reminded my "mil" numerous times when she asked "are they potty trained"? when they're ready that's when we'll train. Not until.

These are some of the things I've learned while potty training. I had no idea how exhausting potty training was going to be. For me!!! I think I've lost five pounds with all the jumping up and down and running. Did I mention running?!?! I also understand why they were so content in their diapers!

1. Never, repeat never ever, ever leave the girls unattended together in the bathroom. On discovery of why they were so quiet I could be found face down in the toilet fishing an entire roll of paper out of toilet. To which they giggled "mommy, pee-pee". What I don't know is if they had actually pee'd in toilet. If so, this would have been "progress".

2. Don't ask ever "do you have to go potty". They always respond with a healthy "no, potty mommy". I was brought up that "No" meant no! I can see I've got my work cut out for me.

3. Be prepared to move your easy chair and kitchen into the bathroom. Just as soon as I'd sit down the other one would go running and yelling "pee-pee mommy, pee-pee". We took many meals on the pot.....

4. My girls have a future in obstacle course racing. Real talent here. Running through the house with their panties down around their ankles yelling "wipe my butt mommy"!

5. How quickly they learned to carry the piss potty above their head. Full. And not spill a drop.

6. How much I would grow to love the "bye-bye pee-pee" song the girls sang each time they used the toilet. And even more when Katie poo-poo'd. She would smile and wave "bye-bye Katie's poo-poo, bye-bye chocolate"! lol..... I'll never view chocolate quite the same.

7. How they would have to go pee-pee so intensely and splash out little more than a grasshopper! It would take them a year to fill a cup at that rate. Gives new meaning to the word "pea bladder"..........

8. How they could take off running to the loo and get to the potty, pants down, yet spray all over the floor. I too have done this( back in the day) but an all night bender....you remember, right?!

9. Or after asking (right before leaving the house) do you have to go to the potty and both say firmly"no". But after strapping them into their seats they would squeal "mommy, pee-pee". My response, "you are kidding, right"? Shit.

10. Hearing the water in the loo but discovering that they're washing their hands in the pee-pee potty!

11. How comfortable I became dragging the potty around with me like a body part....everywhere!

12. Laughing that the girls went through four rolls of toilet paper while at my parent's home. In two days! And not stop up the toilet!!

13. And my favorite...what was I thinking when I decided to take a road trip (of more than 5 minutes---in a car) in the midst of potty training. By myself. Oh, what fun!

But, we're getting there. Only diaper at nap (yes we still take an afternoon nap) and at bedtime....I can only imagine what driving will be like...g-d help us!