Back on the wagon

I've been attending Weight Watchers meetings for over four years now and guess what? I'm not cured. There is no panacea, it seems. It's the original definition of "uphill battle."

I held my goal weight from December 2008 through September 2009. Last time I weighed in, on September 5th, I squeaked by with .2 pounds to spare. I can be two pounds over my goal weight and still be considered at goal, but technically I was already 1.8 pounds over when I stood on the scale last month. In other words, I was already tumbling down the mountain.

Four days after that date, all hell broke loose at work and our team was sliced in half. I gained four pounds that week. Then I got sick. What's that saying: feed a cold, starve a fever? Or is it the other way around? I eat either way, just to be on the safe side. I've continued to go to aerobics and make a half-assed attempt to count my points, but I also succumbed to a "homemade cookie" day at work. I believe I would sell my soul for a perfect, pulled-from-the-oven-at-precisely-the-right-time chocolate chip cookie. And it would be so worth it. I don't believe in hell so there's no real harm.

This week I am atop the wagon yet again and giving it my best shot. I'm hoping to get back to my goal weight (I'm at least five pounds over right now). I have a vacation coming up, and it's hard to say how well I'll maintain my focus. A and I are visiting my mom in Oklahoma and she usually makes fudge. I will not touch any other fudge in the world except the chocolatey goodness my mom creates. She makes it using a recipe from a tattered cookbook she has owned for some forty years. It's magical stuff. And if you know me, you know I don't share, so asking will get you nowhere.

:::snapping out of fudge-induced, Homer Simpson-like reverie:::

I'm going to weigh in on Saturday and face the proverbial music. I know I can get a handle on this thing, but sometimes I don't want to. I want to eat full-fat potato chips and never skip dessert. But then I remember why I walked into that first meeting in 2005. I'm planning to do a lot of things to embarrass my daughter as she grows up, and I didn't want my weight to be one of them. So if I can't do it for myself, at least I should be able to do it for the sake of her once and future social life.