Warning: Adult comedy. Proceed at your own risk.
The Raise
The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely, P. Niss
The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administra tion rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders
of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area
and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order
to start working.
You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated
work area before you have completed
the assigned task. And if that were not
all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, BR V. Gina