I'm not perfect
My fearless little Abbey. You know mommy loves you
very much. Oh how I love you. More than you know.
There isn't a day that goes by that
I don't remind myself of this. Even when you're
like hurricane Andrew and into everything and
I've told you "no" a gazillion times. But somedays
you just about drive me over the edge my child who
is so full of vim, vam, voom and who never stops.
Never, ever, ever stop. Like last night.
I'm sorry sweetie but I'm not perfect.
Mommy wants you to know how distressed
I was with you last night.
I know you didn't understand that mommy had
to work today. My paid post. You didn't
grasp that every time you woke up with that
frightful screaming that I too was up. Actually
everyone in the house or within a 12 state radius
was awake now. Everyone except Katie.
I would tear down the hall blindly and
in such panic wondering what, what could
be so terrifying to you. My heart beating so
fast I thought it would explode. You must know
how heart breaking it was for me standing outside
your room listening to you sob. Why, because
you wanted mommy to "find your fluffy, who
you were clutching".You have to know that as
I stood there and listened to you sob I too sobbed.
I felt so defeated. But this morning I decided after
little sleep very little sleep that tonight should you
wake up screaming for Fluffy you are going to
have to work it out yourself. Mommy can not do
this every night 2, 3 and 4 times. I can't function.
I'm tired honey. It's not fair to you. It's not fair
to me. And no, it's also not fair to Katie and daddy.
But most of all it's not fair to Mai who
sleeps in the next room. She too needs her rest!
So, tonight my precious child--sleep.
All night........Please. I do love you. Mommy.