In Living Colour

Wooo-weee. Dang those were some great questions. Tough questions. Not the sex questions...those were the easy one. Shzzz. Insert: Big grin. But,I did have to do some serious research for this project. There would be no "cheating"! (not that I ever did--grades proved other wise). So here's looking at me. In Living Colour. Yeah, a real movie. D-R-A-M-A. Join me as I delve into my torrid and sometimes shocking past that more often than not reads as a trashy tabloid. We all have our past. Fortunately for me I'm not one who worries what the "Jones" think (nor do I care-so stiffel it). People aspire to be like me. That's what they tell me. Really. So, grab yourself a cup of java (or whatever you're drinking at this hour) and join me as I recall some of my horrific fond memories.

Salome's mom asked: Who has influenced you most in your life and why? This one was clear. My dear, dear friend and previous boss. Calvin Harvel. He gave me my big break. He believed in me. Truly believed in me to my very core. I had been divorced for a very short period of time my alimony had run out (yeah I received alimony) and knew that I needed to escape the insanity of the airlines. Needed to find something that would pay the bills so I didn't have to keep "dancing" for dinner. Ok, so I made that up. I had re-located to "Hotlanta" with hopes of discovering who I was and holding out on a relationship. You know. A re-birth. Somehow I missed the statistics that the female to male ratio was 100 women to every guy. Great place to be if I decided to take one for the home team. I was not that desperate yet. Anyway, I found the relationship(with a male--scam artist-bank rolled me) too, but it would end up costing me more than my very soul. I knew I needed to make some alterations with my life. It was spiraling out of control. Sooo, I answered an ad in the Journal for an outside sales rep. Why did I think I qualified with no experience? Yeah, I was full of myself over confidant and had nothing to loose. Some how I browbeat convinced Calvin into hiring me. From there it was a love fest. Not in that way! He gave me the self admiration to do something that I was not aware I could do or was capable of. He rescued me. I launched a start-up division which I created on my very own and with his support. It was totally foreign to him. He was my biggest advocate. He would travel into Atlanta once a month for meetings with us. He enjoyed riding along with me when I had sales presentations to make. He would get so amused watching me in action. I know he was proud of me but also worried about my mental state because of the scum bag I insisted that I loved. It was he who had the good sense to transfer me 12 states away to escape the addict. Not really 12 states, but far enough that I was able to make a clean break. He was smart enough too to know not to dismiss the looser. The heart only wants what it can't have. Right! So, when he proposed the idea of me opening a new territory and promoting me, well I was simply flattered. I didn't realize until I had set up shop in my new digs what he really had done for me. We have stayed in touch over the years. I hope he always knows how much I love and admire him. He still makes me smile whenever I think of him. He will always be my shinning star. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have met fh and I wouldn't have my two miracles.

Sam asked: What the most obnoxious thing anyone has said to me about adoption and how did you react? Gosh, there have been numerous. I will give you a few that turned my stomach. "You can just go over to China and buy a baby cuz they just spit them out over there". And, "Why didn't you have your own children"? Most hurtful. (September 17th-21st is looking like the travel date...mark your calendar).

A&MG asked: Where's the most interesting place you've ever had sex? Hmm, I had to think about this one for a while. Had to really dig into the time capsule. Yes, there have been some pretty miraculous spots (not in a parked car either) including the airplane. Yep, I'm a member. But I would say the one that still makes me smile and blush at the same time was in the lavatory at my girl friends parent's home. We were all there for a celebration dinner and I had taken my incredibly "hot" hot like melt your panties off gorgeous guy I had been dating. Her mother even drooled. He was 7-8 years older, salt and pepper hair and one of my "gold" club members. I worked for the airlines back then-not an Escort service. I think everyone knew actually pretty sure they did what we had transpired. We had an exuberant smile pasted on our faces and were totally unconcerned with anyone else as we licked and purred on one another. We didn't stick around too long after that. Had other plans.

Steffi B. asked: If I've ever participated in a wet T-shirt contest? Shockingly no! I've never had the desire to show the girls to an audience. My ass, yes, not my twins.

Noemi asked: What do you considered your best quality, and why? Also my worst habit? I am compassionate to the very core of my soul. About everything. I don't don't do anything half way. I also hate to see anyone suffer. Person or animal. It's senseless to me. I detest violence of any kind. My worst habit? Oh, this one is easy I'm ashamed to say. I'm a perfectionist. I can not stand things out of order or messy. Drives me crazy.

Isabella's mommy & daddy and Mrs. Incredible asked: Do you plan on adopting anymore children? What is something you have to do on a regular basis? What is the first thing you do every morning? With a heavy heart (and for my sanity) no we will not be adopting any more children. Would I like to? Yes. I know that one caused a few eye brows to raise. The reality is that with the extreme wait times now and not just China I fear that I would not qualify. I will be 47 next year. I do need to be alive and kicking to raise this precious beings. They deserve that much. I have my legs and eye brows waxed every 2-3 weeks and pedicures every 2 weeks. I have to have "Rony" time. It's my true pleasure. I so enjoy having my leg hairs ripped out and then tweezed. ouch. The first thing I do every morning. Pee. Don't you??

Sophie's Moms asked: Name something you do when no one is looking that you would be embarrassed about? You mean besides picking my nose?! No, really. Umm, getting busted by fh surfing different porn sites. Hangin' my head now..... Why do you think I've had so many computer issues? I can't help it I'm curious.

Jewels' of my heart asked: Where is your dream vacation? It's no secret I love the beach, sun and sand. I dream of us renting a big villa in the south of France for a month. It may be a wait. What is my most embarrassing moment? You mean besides sashaying my big creamy ass with my dress tucked in to my big granny bloomers? Is that not enough? Yes, getting arrested is right up there too. Bad girl. Charges were dropped. That's what transpires when you hire a legal gun.

Eggrolls and chopsticks asked: What is the one thing you did that you never want to have to explain to my babies? Getting arrested. I hope they never do anything that brainless.

Ms. Dragonfly asked: Would you be interested in sending me your hand me downs? Sure. I'm flattered you like my vein. And was it a difficult choice to get the "ladies" enhanced? Would you recommend it? No, it was not difficult. I was starring divorce yes, it was pre-meditated on my part in the face and I wanted to make sure I was "marketable". With Double AA's I was not feeling to confidant. Lol. I would recommend it if it was what you really wanted. If you were doing it for the right motive. For you that is. Would I do it again? Conceivably.

The Lovely Lori asked: What did you eat for breakfast this morning? The same thing I eat every morning. Yogurt and coffee. When was the last time you went shopping for yourself and what did you buy? I'm laughing at this one. I do all my shopping on -line these days. My favorite store is I order 6-12 dresses at a time. Free shipping and the best part the most expensive dress is maybe $32.00! I try the dresses on in the privacy of my own home and return anything that doesn't work for me. It's simple. With clothing 2 (you and you know what I'm talking about) there is scarcely any left for mommy. Well, that I feel good about blowing on myself. I love the web-site. I also shop on-line at the Black White Market. I now hon in on the super deals. What would surprise me? If I were pregnant. Now that would surprise me!

Jennifer asked: What group did you fit into in high school? I was an "it" girl. Tons of friends. Very popular. Dated a football player. Blah, blah, blah.....puke!

Kerri asked: If you could invite anyone in the world over for a glass of wine who would it be and why? I had to think about this one because there are so many people whom I love and admire but I would venture to say Bono. I applaud him for being able to fly under the "paparazzi and sidestep the hoop-la that goes with being a super star. But I so respect his dedication and support for world peace. The world could use more caring free spirits like Bono who are not afraid to open their crusty old wallets. It doesn't hurt that I love their music too. That's an added bonus.

A special Family asked: If you could have a night on the town with anyone dead or alive, who would it be and why? Wow. This one was difficult too. I had to do some endless thinking. I would so enjoy an evening with Princess Di. For me there was something "real" about her. Not only her philanthropy work but also her interest in fashion, music and travel. She was ferociously protective of her children which won my respect and devotion for her. Was it that she discussed her depression? Openly? Maybe. Was it that there was infidelity in the marriage? Maybe. Not that I condone this, but it made her seem as if she too could be vulnerable and human. Not put up on a pedestal. Did I feel her pain for being a walking flash bulb? Absolutely. An innocence the Monarch had never experienced before. She was a tender loving soul. She laughed easily. A humanitarian. Her most important role was being a mother. Like most of us. It was important to her that her boys be able to experience the "simple" life also. I believe she tried to instill values and morals into her boys. Even if only in their lives for a very short time.

Lilly asked: How did you pick China? And what lead you down the road to adoption? I don't want to come off with some cheeky comment as if to imply it was an easy decision. We gave serious considerable thought about which country. In the end the cards were stacked in China's favor due to the favorable health of the children in comparison to the other countries plus we love, love the Asian culture. Did I mention we love the Asian culture? Did we interpret this to mean our child would not have "attachment" issues? No. We whole heatedly expected it. After all our children spent the first 9 months of their tiny little lives in an orphanage. We ripped them from the only humankind they had grown to love and trust. But other than a cold and a raging ear infection our girls were healthy. What brought us down the path of adoption? After many, many brokenhearted years of trying to no avail to have our own biological children we finally conceded it would not be our time. As many of you have gotten to know me, I just couldn't let it rest though. I knew I was destined to be a mommy. Little did I know at the time that I would be a mommy to two! As is my nature I am a pusher. Not in the drug sense, peddling it on the street but rather I want it and I want it now. So, was my quest to adopt. We haven't looked back since.

Mr. Brian asked: What one thing do you most want to be remembered for after you pass away? What was one of the worst thing you did as a teenager that you hope your kids will never do? What first attracted your husband to you?? You mean besides my sense of style and comedic personality?! Lol. I hope most to be remembered for my compassion for life and my family. With each passing day I realize how lucky I am to have them in my life. I hope they always know how much I love and adore them. I hope my children NEVER ever smoke or drink. I'm ashamed to say I did both. What was I thinking? I think what attracted my fh to me was my ease and ability to laugh at myself. He did whisper (not for the blog he said) that he loved my compassion too.

Crazylady asked: What anger management class worked best for you? Lol. Only you my friend would ask that. Alchol, and meds. Not necessarily in that order! Which reminds me, time to take my meds.

Chris asked: How many sexual partners have you had? Hmmm, I had to consider was she also referring to one night stands?! Don't look at me like that. Hmm, but if you're asking about relationships I've had a total of seven including my fh.

Coughchick asked: What was the hardest part about adopting twins? If you mean actually adopting them, I'd say the damn wait and not knowing if we were going to be referred twins. But if you mean having twins it would have to be mastering a routine that worked with our crazy big careers. Intimate alone time where we didn't fall asleep in the act of love making. Yeah, that was tough.

Mommy24treasures asked: What is your favorite meal to cook and what is your favorite time of the day with the "twinkies"? Very sharp of you to remember how much I enjoy cooking for my kin. I love nothing better than whipping up something and watching in bliss as my family devours it. My favorite meals to prepare are warm and hearty. I love my orange chicken over a mound of hot steamy rice. We are talking about food, right?! My second would be my veal marsala. I'm starving now....My favorite time of the day with the babes is bath time. I love nothing better than hearing their little squeals and giggles as they splash in the tub. Too cute.

Lisa asked: Does the carpet match the drapes? Sorta. Does gray count? Favorite candy bar? Anything chocolate with nuts. Paper or plastic? Paper. How much money is in your wallet right now, change included? $1.02. Sad.

Yes, Minister asked: Do you have a place for the kid videos that is hidden from the one for you and dh?! Don't have videos as we're way more fun than any movie. The monologue is better too.

Nancy asked: What is your favorite childhood memory? Spending the summers (alone) with my grandparent's. I loved every minute of it.

Anon asked: What is my opinion on the Chew Blog? For those that don't know I represent my agency in conducting workshop for prospective parent's adopting from China. Although I don't know the family in question there are no guarantees with adopting. Just as there aren't if you were giving birth. They are not cute little puppies you can return because they are broken. They are precious, precious children who deserve to be loved, nurtured and cared for in a warm loving environment. I have seen a lot of discussion recently about disruption and dissolution. There seems to be some confusion as to the terms based on families in the US adopting Chinese children. A Disruption is defined as the decision by the prospective adoptive parent (s) to decline a child while in China, but before the adoption of the referred child had been finalized. A Dissolution is defined as the decision by the prospective adoptive parent (s) to relinquish their legal rights as the parent of the adoptive child, after the adoption of the child has been finalized. It is not possible to "return" a child after leaving China to China. Once the adoption has been finalized, the child cannot return to China as an orphan. If parents relinquish their parental rights after they return from China, it would then become a domestic matter and would follow US Federal and State guidelines for domestic adoption. One should never entering into adoption without giving it a lot of though and consideration.

To "anon": yes, (laughing) I am a total nut. How perceptive of you to observe. However, I do not demand your affirmation nor do I need your "huba-huba". What right do you have to pass judgement on me? You don't know me. I'll let you in on a little secret. I know exactly who I am and what I'm about. I surmise sadly you don't as that's why you insist on keeping me on your blog roll. Your life must be so mundane. I must interest you or why else would you continue to stalk me? My hunch is that you still do it military style. Have some fun and shake it up. Your man may like a little variety too. Stop hiding behind that "toothy" grin of yours and have some dang fun. It's ok to let your hair down. Oh, almost forgot---I do have suspicion of who you are. Shameful. You call yourself a mother? What lessons you must be teaching your children. Tsk, tsk. Now run along....come back only when you can play nicely.

Heather asked: Can you tell us/me more about what it is like to live life w/ an au pair living in your home with you? As you know, I seriously consider it... but worry I'll feel too uneasy about having to give up my privacy. Thoughts? Insight? Etc?Love,Heather. Heather, if you would have asked me this a year ago you might not have received the same response as today. I was an emotional wreck initially. There was an acclimation period as you can well imagine. Huge for me. Fh and I went from just the two of us to five people all living under the same shelter. It was an eye-opener. We were all trying ferociously to balance and make it work. I worried constantly that she was comfortable and not homesick. Not to mention her adjusting to our way of life and the different cooking. We did set ground rules as we felt there needed to be some guide lines. She did have access to a car pretty much at all times. We never felt it was necessary to set a curfew as the girls have all been over the age of 21. That said we've also only ever had Asian girls in the house. There is a total respect for FH and I and I attribute that to their culture. I've never had any confrontations and they have in turn never given me reason to question their behavior. As far as privacy in the beginning it did take some getting use to. But, she is family now and I wouldn't ever want her to feel she was not welcome or worse not family. We have so enjoyed learning about her culture and customs. There is an innosense about Mai that is so captivating. We are lucky to have her and our girls love her to pieces. She treats them as if they were her little sisters. It's a win-win situation for us. I would be more than hapy to discuss in more detail with you.

Anonymous said...
Why aren't Rose and Marie from Salsa in China blog on your twinkie's link list?Cate. Interesting question Cate. Why would I?! Weird. No, way weird. She is not a friend of mine. Nuff said.