Come take a peek

A snapshot of a real life "reality" show. Our reality.

If my calculation was correct it was that time again. Time for "Nana's" bi-monthly visit to spoil her grandchildren. Oh, goody. (her only grandchildren--and probably for awhile....long while). I am lucky that Nana so desperately wants to be a part of the babies (yes, I will always call them my babies too) lives. The girls know without a doubt who the crazy one is (the lady with the presents---silly--not me)and are constantly chanting "Na-na, Na-na, Na-na" as if conditioning for a beer chugging contest! Oh, g-d help me. Jason G.(legal council) I blame you.... Too early for that I hope. *wink.*

My "Mil" and I have always had an amazingly close relationship. Don't be hatin'. Not the usual daughter, mil relationship either. A friendship. You know, talk about sex and stuff... We have even discussed over the years (there was a time when she thought I might have been a bit of a handful for dh-ha ha ha. )that if I had not saved dh and married him that we would have been friends. So, it means more to me than any of you know that she wants to be a part of their little lives. A real part of their lives which translates, our lives. Package deal. When she visits she gets a front row viewing with popcorn at no additional charge of the "good bad and the ugly". No curtain calls here. We wave our "freak" flag proudly! Any hoots...I've always enjoyed her visits but now, waaaay more. Why, you might ask? Well, she begs us to let her (really) cook dinner for us (remember -- control freak here don't like anyone in my kitchen--including family) while visiting. Now, I'm not a stupid girl, however I've been thinking that maybe, there's a reason why. Could it be that she:
  • Hates my cooking. Is it possible?!
  • Prefers eating before 9:00pm.--yes we eat late... super duper late...we always have.

  • Doesn't like what I prepare. Hmm, possibility....naw!!!
  • Would rather do all the cooking-control freak herself?! No wonder we get along. Fine by me as I hate "clean-up"...

  • Wants to make sure her son is getting enough to eat. You've seen him, he ain't starving! No one in my household is. Reminder, I need to loose 10 ponds. Note to self: Talk to Sen about her work out schedule...
At any rate it gets me out of slaving over a hot stove after working all day and she gets the dirty job of clean-up. Which brings me to my next point. Days, almost hours no minutes before she arrived my schedule was altered. Under normal circumstances this wouldn't be a big deal, however I now would be working the entire time Nana was here! Crap. I know, a lot of you are thinking I'd rather be working when my "mil" visits. But, not me. I like to supervise the activities. Control freak..... remember? Lol.

So, Nana sucked up the courage and asked if she could take the girls to the pool -with the help of Mai of course-now, before I would have blurted out a big fat "No" and not wavered. Nobody but mama can manage the girls alone. No one. But, I thought what an excellent idea!!! I figured this would cure her of asking me to put them on a plane... without me. Insert, big grin. No fear there as you will see from photos (Sorry Nana--busted) how Nana had an "eye" on the children...yeah, see here...Good thing she convinced Mai how wonderful it would be to help her with the kids *shzz* . Remind me not to send the girls to Florida anytime soon or until their 16... lol.

Just for the record I hate, really hate(I know hate is a really strong word) public watering holes. No, not those kind of watering holes (martini bars, or bar-stools) but swimming pools. Now, I wouldn't say I live in the "hood" by any stretch, but well, we obviously have a lot of clueless people in my neighborhood. Stupid. I like taking the girls to the pool every chance I can. You see, even though I hate, detest public swimming pools, my little girls love the water. Just like their momma. So, we load up mommies pimp machine (not really a real pimp machine, I just wish it were) 2 days a week for fun in the sun and water.

I was a really upset the other day at the lack of supervision by the parent's regarding their children. Especially in the baby pool area. Yes, I understand it's only one foot of water. But a child can drown in less! Although we do have one monster ass baby pool equipped with fountain to boot it is not life guard manned. We were rushing to get home for naps when I noticed a little girl who appeared to be 3-4 years old swimming in the baby pool. Alone. No parent, no babysitter, nothing. So I asked her(felt it was my responsibility) if she were with anyone? Much to my horror she said yes, her mommy. "Oh", I said as I'm looking around for her. I ask, "well, where is she"? The little girl replied "at the big" pool"! I was so upset that I loaded the kids in the pimp machine faster than I ever have and sped up to the clubhouse to speak to someone with some authority. After having a discussion with someone who appeared to be important, I've never seen him before, he could have been the valet attendant for all I know or a drifter...I didn't care, I was upset... he assured me they would address the situation. Guess what? A repeat on Friday. Also big kids (really big kids) swimming, no throwing big crap in in the baby pool while they're on mandatory 15 minute break from the big pool. Grrr... Did I mention how I hate public pools?!? I know my hormones have been acting up but it makes me so angry that these children are being dropped off and obviously being unsupervised. What will it take before these parent's sit up and take notice? A drowning?! Unbelievable. Is this all the more they value life?! Ok, maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but damnit, I waited a long time for my little angels and it makes me angry....

I will finish it up with a conversation I had with a group of moms, whom I had absolutely nothing in common with at the pool.

Skinny Hot Mommy: "They are so cute".Real emphasis on cute. I know what that means. Preparing myself...

Me: "Thank you". Beaming and so proud. Waiting for her to strike.

Skinny Hot Mommy: "Where'd you git them"?

Me: Stupid, disgusted look on my face, yep, I knew this was going to happen, "China".

Skinny Hot Mommy: "The bathing suits"?

Me: Blushing, and totally embarrassed. "Oh, no, I thought you meant the children, Kohl's I mean, I bought the suits at Kohl's children in China". Me thinking to myself, Oh, just shut-up now. Stupid mommy with foot in mouth! Disappear.

Skinny Hot Mommy: "The suits are adorable, but the girls are precious". Look on her face that says I feel sorry for you. No, I feel sorry for your children.

Me: "Oh, thank you".......

Note to self: Do not assume you know what someone is going to say before they say it.... Makes mommy look like total idiot. Packing up bags and children and going home now. Embarrassed. Will I be able to muster up the courage to go back? Especially since all moms are skinny and hot!

p.s. I like taking pictures of my cute kids.