AMAZing words of wisdom.
I've read it so many times, yet still seem to forget it.
I'm a stay at home Mom, of 3 little ones. I get to stay home, make my own schedule (minus my sleeping schudule....the kids seem to dominate that one), yet lately, we're rarely together as a family. We're off doing "good" things, but in replace of possibly, "better" or the very "best" of things.
Balance is hard.
The last 3 weeks have been full of lots of "good" things. I've been volunteering in Tanner's classroom, trying to go to the gym again (Because I stopped working out. Completely. Once the Ragnar ended.), taking pictures for families, serving in Scouts at my church, planning and running errands for a cousins Halloween party, etc.
But by the end of last week, I was full of guilt. I was a "stay-at-home mom" that was gone all the time. I started noticing a difference in Elle. The way her eyes would look at me when I handed her off to someone else. It was a look of defeat. She'd given up hoping she'd be with me. She'd realized even if she put up a fight, I'd give her away anyway.
I was away from my kids 26 hours last week. What!?
I realize that I am so incredibly blessed to stay home. And so many other mamas would LOVE to stay home if the circumstances allowed. So why am I throwing it away? Throwing it away for a part-time job of being "busy".
I'm not meaning to sound dramtic and I'm most definitely NOT throwing a pity party. I'm upset with myself. I have choices.
Why would I trade so many good things, for the better and best things?
My kids.
My husband.
Our family unit.
I'm done being "busy".
I choose my family.