The Semi-annual Haircut

So it's spring. Or...almost summer.

I hear.

Somewhere it is.

So since it's almost summer when it usually gets hot and things grow and the sun beats down on us and makes us sweaty and in need of an iced least that's what I remember summer being like. I haven't actually experienced it in awhile....

If it's summer it's time for me to play at being a barber.

Not my favorite job.

Not the kids favorite time either. Since we are mutually agreed that it isn't our favorite pastime, we practice avoidance techniques for a while. The boys run and hide. I stay busy baking cookies. We procrastinate until the hair just can't be ignored anymore.

The boys say the last hair cut they got was for Christmas. I'm pretty sure I trimmed around their ears before Easter too.

But yeah, that's about it for the winter haircuts.

The first time I gave a male person a haircut was right after I became betrothed to be a wife. At the time I didn't know that as soon as you become engaged you start giving haircuts and patching blue jeans. But that's how it works, donchaknow.

So for thirty years I've been cutting hair for one husband, five sons and occasionally two daughters. And my brother once.

When the boys got big enough to have money in their wallets they defected and found a real barbershop. When they found out how much that cost they started cutting their own and each other's hair. I tried not to be insulted.

But really, it was nice to not have to hear their whining any more.

Haircuts really are an issue around here. I'm not sure why. There's all the squirming and crying and carrying-on that drives me crazy. Then there's the dull scissors that pluck the hair out instead of trimming it and the electric clippers that chew the hair instead of cutting it. Boys become mushy cowards when it's time for a hair cut around here.

But when the birds start nesting, it's just time.

After I dragged the boys out from under the bed, they had to decide who would be first. This time they were more civilized about it than usual. They played Hunter, Maiden, Bear.

Have you heard of it? It's like Rock, Paper, Scissors. The Bear eats the Maiden, the Hunter shoots the Bear and the Maiden...uh...the Maiden uses her kryptonite to disable the Hunter.

This is the Maiden displaying her girlish charms.

Since it had stopped raining for a minute, we took the barbershop outside.


We got 'er done.

We should be good until Christmas.