La Question du Jour

With summer upon us, we'll be faithfully attending every fair and festival we can find. Funnel cake or bust, man. Mediocre bands and deep-fried-something-or-other, here we come! (Please don't tell Holly, my Weight Watchers leader, about this little outburst, 'kay? Let's just keep it between me and you.)

So, here is the question. How can we convince this person:

That peeing in one of these:

Will not, in fact, kill her? Sure, most of us find it at least mildly disturbing when we have to use one. It may cause some slight damage to her psyche if my little buttercup does the same. She may develop a roaring case of OCD as a result of expelling her fruit punch into a big hole filled with the unspeakable, but in the end, she'll probably live through it.

So far, she is not sold. She'd rather have her bladder explode. When my sister was in town for the marathon last month, there was a party of sorts at the finish line, complete with beer, brats, and a band. There was a long row of porta potties nearby. A decided she had to go, so I walked her over and opened one of the available potty booths. She leaned in slightly, frowned, and said, "No." I opened the next one. No. And three more after that. The kid made it clear that each one horrified her more than the one before it. In her defense, I do suspect that long-distance runners have a tendency to develop some pretty wicked intestinal issues after completing a marathon, but I'll keep the details to myself.

We had the same problem last year at the state fair and other events. She'd say she had to go and I'd show her what her options were. She'd shake her head and decline. I'd suggest she could just close her eyes and pee really fast. She'd walk away.

Any tips? How does one convince a four-year-old of the merits of something that, when it comes right down to it, truly has very few selling points?