I love my job. I really do love my job and I'm good at what I do. I sell dreams. New homes. Expensive new homes. True. It comes naturally for me. I'm passionate about it. Just as I am my babies and fh. I've been told I have a gift. People trust me. I am a sales manager(no shock here) for a large new home builder in the D.C. area. I come into contact with a lot of people on a daily basis. Good people.Educated people. Kind people. Well, most of the time. I meet alot of people. But what never seizes to amaze me is how insensitive people can be with their probing. I know I should feel flattered that people find me so interesting, but some things are well, personal. I know to the masses I am an open book. Yes, I too would agree. Most of the time. But on my terms. When I'm comfortable sharing my inner self. Even I have my breaking point. But today I was reminded of something that I had buried deep, deep within my sole. I thought I had come to terms with. Something that I thought I had accepted. Stashed away in the vault. Well ,so I thought. But today I was blind sided by the reminder. The shield was broken today. It hurt.
This is the conversation that brought me to tears:
Me: Always ready to greet with a chipper smile and make customer feel welcome. "Hello, ladies. Welcome to XX Homes, my name is Rony."
Customer: Smiling. "Hello,, thank you, would it be ok if we looked around"?
Me: "Oh, of course"! "Is this your first time here or is there anything I can share with you about the community"?
Customer: "No, we were considering a possible move and wanted to see what was on the market out here". I'm guessing they live in D.C. or close by.
Me: "Great, where are you from"?
Customer: Smiling, "Arlington". Yep, see I knew. Of course they comment on how far the community is to D.C. (30 miles). Like it was 12 states away.....shzzz..
Me: "Ah, yes Arlington. I love the city, great food too".
Customer: As she is eyeballing me very strangely, and then there it was "Are you pregnant"? Oh, my g-d. Did she just ask me that? She waves her hand towards my dress. I actually thought she was going to touch me. Please don't let her touch me. I jump back.
Me: "Um, well, it's the"....customer trying to interrupt. please tell her to shut-up and let me finish.
Customer: Without missing a beat. "Oh, that's great".
Me: "No, no, I'm not pregnant, we were never able" as I stand there stuttering..wanting to climb through the floor....Is she still here?
Customer's Friend: As she points at my dress and tries to explain to her friend "that''s the style now", that's what the young are wearing". Yeah, my dress looks like a tent.
Me: Did she call me young? "Yes, oh, I know it's a bit revealing, but" Oh, just shut-up. When will they leave. Make them leave. I knew I shouldn't have worn this dress......
Customer: She could clearly see I was upset. "I'm so sorry, really".
Me: "It's ok, we were unalbe to conceive our own". Shit, why did I say that? I just wanted them to get out of my house.
Customer: Figuring she needs to say something. "Can we still look around"??
Me: Oh, g-d their going to say. Smiling "yes, please let me know if you have any other questions". G-d did I just say that? What time is it?? I need to go home.
Today I was reminded of something I would never experience. No matter how much I wanted it, it would never happen. I would never feel life within my womb. I would never have a big round belly like a basketball. I would never give birth. Today I cried. Really cried.
I am pictured in the dress I was wearing today. Ok, it's a bit revealing as my fh pointed out. But, the market in D.C. has been tight. I wanted to make sure my customer's all returned. I will be retiring this dress. For work anyway....