Well, we did it. We made it to the 12 week mark! This is a huge deal to me. I've felt sick (meaning, wanted to puke for 2 months), tired (meaning, exhausted), anxious (meaning, petrified). But for some reason, that 12 week doctor's visit really felt like a weight came off of my shoulders. I did it. I held onto this baby for 12 weeks. The risks are so much lower now. I can relax a little bit. Granted, I know I will probably never truly relax again in my entire life, but this was a big milestone for Mark and I. Thank the glorious heavens that we did it :)
My 12 week doctor's visit was on Dec. 19. It was originally supposed to be with a female doctor, but at the last minute was cancelled/rescheduled with the only male doctor in the practice. I was a little nervous about this-I've never seen a male doctor in my life. I've had two OB/GYN's in my life and both have been women, so this is not a part of my body I share with everybody! It's a personal decision for me-I try to have even my eye doctor and dentist be women! But I was so relaxed with this doctor. He put me at ease. He came in and told me we were going to listen to the heartbeat first, and not to worry if we didn't find it right away because sometimes it takes a little while to find where the baby is. But he found it right away! That is because my baby has the best, strongest, most perfectest heartbeat ever. I can say that because the doctor said the heartbeat was "perfect," and I don't think doctor's say that about just any old heartbeat. It was 150 bpm and according to the old wives' tale, that means Nugget is a girl! (So we have the old wives', the Chinese and my dream on the side of "girl". Obviously we should be getting ready for a boy.) The doctor also sat down to answer my many questions, some of which I'm sure sounded silly to him but he still made me feel like he was going to give me his time and attention. So we have decided to stay with this hospital rather than switching to Elmhurst and I feel good about that decision. We took our two hospital tours and though Elmhurst was really pretty and new, I just feel more comfortable staying with the doctors that I know.
Physically, I have been feeling much better. (Caution: TMI ahead!) I haven't thrown up since Monday! Yay!! This is basically a record for the past 6-7 weeks. So, pretty excited about that. I still get really tired pretty easily and I've noticed once or twice that my feet seemed more swollen than usual after a work day. I haven't really had any true cravings at this point, but I have wanted orange juice more often than normal for me. I usually don't really want orange juice because the acidity has a tendency to upset my stomach. But me and OJ get along ok for right now. :) Nugget must want the Vitamin C and extra calcium for growing teeth and bones!
At 12 weeks, Nugget is the size of a lime or a plum (which is bigger?!). Reflexes including sucking are starting and the baby is moving but is just too small to feel right now. All of the important body systems are in place and just need to grow and mature. He/she weighs about a 1/2 ounce, is about 2 inches long and the head takes up half of the body length! So Nugget is still a little freaky looking. But in an endearing way!
I've regained some of my perspective compared to my last post. I would still say though that my emotions are still a roller coaster. I'd love to be one of those moms who posts only the glowing things about loving Baby so much already, and getting more excited every day and all of that, but I just don't feel that way. I am excited (when I'm not scared) and I do love Nugget, but more in a logical way than an emotional way, I guess. I KNOW that I love Nugget rather than necessarily feeling it some days. I think that that will come maybe a little later, once Nugget gets bigger and maybe after we have our other ultrasound. Which, by the way, will be on Valentine's Day, so hope that Nugget is in a "show and tell" kind of mood so we can find out the gender!
My husband continues to be the most awesome husband in the universe. You may think yours is, but you would be wrong. Mine is. :)
Well, readers, that's about it for this week. Stay tuned here for more updates, of course. My next visit will be mid January, a week or two before my birthday and the doctor's recommend to start considering birth classes around that time. Every month brings new decisions and new planning to do but it's going to be awesome. Because, I'm making the best baby to ever live. Just so you know. :) Get ready world!
Love,
Ilea
PS-Although I want a girl, Target had the cutest boy bedding called "Baby Bots" that was all these cute little robots. February can't come soon enough! Not knowing the gender is torture!!