Warning: this post may not be appropriate for young children.
Kerri brought home a few books to read during Spring break, and most of them were about rabbits. She wants a pet rabbit, but before we would consent we told her she needed to learn as much as possible about having one for a pet.
So today, we were reading a book all about rabbits. Then we got to the part about breeding. And there were pictures. My daughter had lots of questions. So we had to have THAT conversation. It went something like this:
Kerri: (laughing) "The buck is laying atop the doe!"
Mommy: "They are mating Kerri."
Kerri: "You mean he is putting his penis inside her?"
Mommy: (clearly shocked but trying to act as calm as possible) "Yes Kerri."
Kerri: "No wonder penises are so long!"
I was speechless. I think I said something to the effect that they only got long when they were ready to mate. I totally forgot to ask her how she even knew rabbits had penises, or that penises got/were long, but I am glad I didn't - I am almost afraid to ask. I don't even know if rabbits have penises!!!
As I quickly read on, it went on to explain how the buck will mate with several does. At this point, Kerri interrupted again - laughing - and exclaimed: "You mean he is cheating on the doe?!" And then I had to explain that in some animal families, yes there was cheating, but that not all animals "cheat" on their mates. I was quickly realizing where this was going, so I decided to forge ahead and keep reading.
And then we got to the part of why some people say "breeding like rabbits". By now Kerri was laughing hysterically, I was ready for a drink or three, and Pookie was hiding under the table. And then I decided to close the book and distract Kerri with her favorite TV show. Because I just was not ready for that conversation. Thank goodness Kerri likes SpongeBob.
Life with Kerri sometimes breaks out in a sweat.