At Catholic school, Kerri's peers are getting ready for communion and learning about confession. Since I was raised Jewish, I never had to confess. My mom automatically assumed I was guilty of everything. So there really was no need to come up with something to confess every weekend.
But as I got older, I realized that lots of people assume a great many things. And I just thought that a little confession might be good, because a glimpse into our life sometimes does not tell the whole story. So here goes: my attempt to confess, come clean, and clear the air. It's my first time, so I hope I do it right! Here are my top ten confessions, in no particular order:
1. I like to cook. No surprise there. But I really hate to do dishes. And since we do not have a dishwasher in the townhouse we rent, I have no choice. Sometimes hubby steps in and helps out. But I do so many dishes, my hands are anything but soft and dainty. That's OK with me, I gave up manicures when we had Kerri.
2. I am a stay at home mom. And I am pretty good at staying home, and maybe even OK at being a mom. But I am a terrible housewife. Martha Stewart would shake her head in disappointment at my decorating skills. I have a whole wall covered in pictures that Kerri made, put up with scotch tape. And they are - gasp - not even aligned, in a pattern or straight! My beds get made sometimes. And sometimes they don't. And although my house is clean and dust free (largely thanks to the maid company), it is what I like to call "organized chaos". Messy. Lived in. Mismatched, and comfy, just like my family.
3. My idea of dressing up is wearing my hair down. Because it is always in a bun or ponytail, since that is easy. And my idea of makeup is lip balm - lip gloss if it is an evening outing. I think the only time I wear makeup or get my hair done is for weddings, and the last one we went to was in 2004. I am definitely not a Stepford or trophy wife, even if my husband thinks I am the sexiest thing alive. It's a good thing love is blind...and that he has not filled his new eyeglass prescription.
4. I make mistakes. All the time. I even forget things. I am so not perfect. And I remind Kerri of that constantly. But I also tell her there is no such thing as perfect. And that I am wonderful just the way I am, and so is she. Even if we don't always think so. Especially when others don't think so. What was I saying? I already forgot.
5. I am plus sized. Let's be honest, I am morbidly obese according to doctors. But they are too afraid to say it, or to call me fat. And I have been overweight ever since puberty, thanks to an undiagnosed hypothyroid and PCOS. But that's OK. I am comfortable in my own skin, even if others are not. That is their problem, not mine. But I still hate shopping for clothes.
6. I am not a typical female. I really do not like going shopping or malls. I don't go to spas, or get my nails done. The only reason I get my hair dyed is because hubby asks me to. I don't own tons of shoes or purses or clothes. I do love jewelry (and have plenty) but never wear it, it is all in the bank safety deposit box. I don't have girls' night outs, unless you count Nana's visits. I hardly ever wear dresses or skirts. I almost always wear jeans and t shirts and comfy flip flops or sneakers. I don't like gossip or tabloid magazines, dislike soap operas, and barely ever watch TV. I am a cheap date. But I am not easy. I am pretty sure I am not a male or a lesbian. I think the most feminine thing I know how to do is bat my eyelashes. Or show cleavage. Thank goodness Kerri is not like me!
7. I hate my moustache. I tweeze my eyebrows just fine. But that hair over my lip drives me crazy. It's not that noticeable because I am a natural blonde. But I see it. And when I am not plucking it, I am waxing it. I am tempted to take up shaving. It drives me crazy.
8. I am 46 years old. And I embrace every one of those years. I don't try to hide them, or lie about them, or act a certain age for that matter. My husband is five years younger than me. And you would never guess it. I wonder if that makes me a cougar?
9. I have much to learn. The other day, Nana told me about flavored condoms, and I had no idea why anyone would need them. So I told her to get me some. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn something new every day. I read the news, books, and try to keep abreast of current world affairs. And thank goodness for Nana, or I still would be clueless about certain things!
10. And last but not least, I am a Jewish American Argentine Lithuanian Canadian resident. Married to a French Canadian, Irish, British Catholic. And we adopted a Chinese daughter, made her a US citizen, are raising her Jewish but sending her to Catholic school, and then brought her to Canada just to confuse her a bit more. And it works for us. I think diversity is the spice of life. And I embrace that diversity every day. And thank G-d for it.
Life with Kerri is far from perfect. But it's perfect for us.