My daughter came home from school with this monstrosity on Friday. She proudly loaded it into the van when I picked her up from Kindercare.
"Where did you get that?" I asked.
"From the book fair," she replied.
Here's the thing: I didn't give her any money to spend at the school's book fair. The reason for this one-time failure to support my child's education is that I already order books from the Scholastic book club all the time. The kid has a gazillion books. I really need to get her a library card. I guess it is the English major in me that likes to own books so that I can make notes in them, fold pages, go back to them for reference, etc. But really, that habit is getting to be fairly impractical.
Whenever she brings home one of the Scholastic book forms, I tell her to circle the books she'd like to have. Generally, the ones she picks are crap . . . Barbie, iCarly, and so forth. So, I typically order one piece of crap and then order one or two of the classic books I think she really needs. I love to see her reading some of the books I loved as a child, such as "Alexander and the Wind-Up Mouse."
Anyway, I guess the teachers took all of the students through the book fair last week so that they could each make a list of the books they'd like to buy. A came home with the usual list of suspects, so I ignored it. So, I was surprised when she came home with this poster.
"I didn't give you any money for the book fair," I said. "Did you win it or something?"
(Pausing) "Yes, I . . . won it." (Cue Jon Lovitz!)
"How did you win it?"
"Can I have a snack when we get home?"
Then she started blathering on about Justin Bieber because, you see, she is an expert. Here is the extent of her knowledge: "A lot of people think his name is Justin Beaver, Mom, but it's actually Justin BIEBER." She also pointed out that he is "handsome and a good singer."
Yes, my daughter is a Bieber-lover and . . . possibly a kleptomaniac.