Test of will

Oh Diet Pepsi, it's not you - it's me.

After giving some thought to my last blog entry, I've decided to do two things:

1. Break up with Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi (all forms of soda, for that matter)
2. Try not to eat after 6 p.m. Sunday through Friday

So, yesterday was my first soda-less day. I had a colossal, epic headache by 2 p.m. . . . just in time to head to a client meeting. I popped two ibuprofen and kept my fingers crossed that I could make it through the meeting without a) falling asleep or b) snapping. The first thing the client did was to turn down the lights and fire up a projector so that we could review some websites. I almost nodded off a few times, but I managed to stay awake by mentally counting the number of times he said the word "path."  As in, go down the right path, make sure we're on the right path, path path path.  The total count? Seven.

I guess the fact that I had a headache and felt sleepy/cranky/out-of-sorts does speak to the fact that this is a true addiction. When my daughter and I got home, she immediately but politely asked for a snack. I said, "WELL, OKAY, BUT YOU'D BETTER EAT EVERY SINGLE BITE OF YOUR DINNER!" So yeah, just a little crabby.

The "no eating after 6" plan is just meant to curb evening snacking. I do fine during the day when I'm at work, but for some reason I can't be trusted to have unrestricted access to my own kitchen.  Granted, when I "binge" it means I had three Weight Watchers snacks instead of one, but still. I don't keep dangerous trigger foods in my house.  At the grocery store, I sometimes stop and caress a package of Keebler Fudge Sticks, but I never buy them. I recently discovered that one grocery store in my area carries Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies. I was better off without that knowledge. If you're wondering why I didn't include Saturdays, I'm planning to incorporate Saturdays as well, but I'm going out with a friend tomorrow night and didn't want to blow it on the first week. It was either blow it and lie about it or exclude Saturdays.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm really trying to focus more on my health.  I exercise and I eat a ton of fruits and vegetables (even more so now that they are zero points on Weight Watchers), but I think I am sabotaging myself with the soda and nighttime snacking.  It seems kind of silly to go to yoga and focus on being healthy and then suck down a carbonated, caffeinated beverage (even though I love it soooooo).  I wonder what my yoga instructors eat.  The woman who owns the studio is in amazing shape (and she's a grandma).  Looking at her tiny little torso, I can't even figure out how all of her internal organs fit in there, to be honest.

This focus on my health may be for naught, however.  According to my daughter, I won't be around much longer.  She dropped this little gem on me in the hallway earlier this week: "Mama, when I'm seven and if you're still alive, will I still have to listen to you or can I do whatever I want?"  A while back she also asked me if she can have my "marrying dress" when I die.  I'm starting to wonder if a life insurance policy has been taken out on me or something.  I'm looking over my shoulder, for sure.