"I didn't hit somebody today!"

That was A's exultant announcement when I picked her up from Kindercare a few days ago. My chest swelled with pride at the knowledge that my little buttercup had not clocked anyone on that particular day.

We've continued to struggle periodically with the hitting issue at school. The kid spent part of one afternoon perched on a chair in Miss Amber's office, reflecting on the rightness/wrongness of smacking one's friends. Miss Amber is the director at the center my daughter attends. On the way home in the car that day, I heard this from the back seat: "Miss Amber said I have nice hands!"

I looked at her in the rear view mirror. "Um, I'm pretty sure that Miss Amber meant that you should be nice with your hands. I don't think she was complimenting your hands. Though they are lovely."

To be honest, I'm fairly certain that in some of these incidents, my kid has been slugged first. However, I have to assume she is probably the aggressor in at least 50% of the incidents. We've had several stern-faced "discussions" with her, but we're not sure what else to do beyond that.

Other odd things my child has said to me this week:

"Mama! Gretchen licked my tongue! And I licked her tongue, too!" I'm just going to pretend that one didn't happen. :::Humming to myself while rocking back and forth:::

"I'm gonna be four on May 3rd. And I'm getting a car. A pink one." We were thinking in terms of getting her a "big girl" bike for her birthday, but a Chevy? Not so much.

"And you didn't even have to count to 5!" She's been saying this when she actually does something voluntarily. Normally, she waits until I've threatened the lives of her, her children, and her children's children. If I tell her I'm going to count to 5, she waits until I get to 4 3/4, then rolls her eyes, sighs deeply, and does whatever minuscule task I've required of her.

After passing some rambunctious children on a trampoline: "Mama, look at those kids on that . . . kid jumper." Then, glumly, "I sure wish I had a kid jumper."